the rest of my life...

2008-08-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

Onions are people too!!!

I am just like an onion, I have many different layers. The only way you will really get to know the core of me is to peal back some layers and get to know me as a whole.

top layer... I am just quiet guy (only at this layer) who is pushing his way through life. I sell shoes for a living and I am a creature of habit.

middle layer... I can seem a little wacky at times. I dance and sing at random times. I am strong minded and make my point of view known.

bottom layer... I am a big dork who would rather be spending his time watching cartoons instead of sports. I have been known to listen to talk radio. I play video games. I don't enjoy large crowds. I rather stay at home than go anywhere (almost).

at the center... In the deepest parts of who I am I just love God. I want nothing more than to serve him and my fellow man (i just don't always know what that looks like).

Today (kinda yesterday because it's 1:42 am now) I got some horrible news. Someone I never met before in california died today. His name is David. He was 28 had a wife named jamie, a son that is 12 named curtis, and a 2 year old named Dj. I have known David for 2 and a half years now. I met him on xbox (this is that bottom layer part) awhile ago now in a time when I didn't have many friends. David and another guy named Jose filled that void for me. Our relationship wasn't just owing noobs or killing computers generated players together; we would call each other and talk about our personal life. (like: work, wife/ girlfriends, money problems, family problems, about our favorite things... basically everything). We spent a good amount of time on xbox not even playing any games but just talking through our trouble. Back in march David told he had found out he had liver cancer. Well things went down hill fast and 4 months later here we are. David was a lot of different things to a lot of different people but even from a 1000 miles away he was a great friend if even for just a short time. I know I sound like a big nerd right now and I'm ok with that. I'm just sad that I don't have my friend anymore.

Prayer.... Thank you father for filling voids. Thanks for a friend I never had to meet in order to be friends. Keep David's family close in this hard time. Protect and watch over them in this great time of need for them. I'm glad you are God and I am not because I could never make sense of this world... thanks

2008-05-24T02:10:00.000-07:00

Silly World...

I doubt that there is really anyone that reads this blog that I don't know in real life (HI mom... HI dad... HI ect...) but I am a shoe fitting specialist. Which is just a fancy way of saying I know more about shoes than your average person. I enjoy my job (to a degree of course). I order some shoes for a older guy after I suggest a certain size and model. Well the shoe comes in about a week later (a week soon than I quoted him) and the place where I order the shoes from put the wrong shoes in the box. After I find this out I inform the gentleman sooo he decide this is a good time to question my intellects. He decides after he sees the mistake that he gets a discount... which he continues to inform me. OH PEOPLE... they are soo interesting??? (that's a nice way to say it at least)

My future wife is next to me in a hospital bed. She had a tumor removed yesterday that was the size of a BASEBALL. Surgery went better than perfect. The tumor was on her ovary and the doctor was able to remove the tumor without losing the ovary. The type of tumor normally comes in pairs and her doctor checked the other ovary while he had her open and it was nice and clean. THANK YOU GOD. She is still beautiful in a hospital bed.

This whole world can just seem really jacked up sometimes. I am sitting at work while my fiance is under the knife and I have this guy insulting me about shoes. I thought about leaving at that point. I thought about giving him a piece of my mind. I thought that by the age of 50+ most people wouldn't be bullies anymore.

Sometimes bad things are going to happen to good people. Sometimes good things will happen to bad people. But always God will love them all. (does that mean I have to like it?)

2008-05-04T12:49:00.000-07:00

Soooooooo.......

I decided to come home to spent this beautiful sunday with my lovely future bride. And while watching tv at her house I got a nose bleed. My reaction to this was to show laura (i was just proud that i was a real boy). And her reaction to my reaction was to scream at me to get away. After laughing for a moment at her she decided her new responds would be to punch me in the face.

um..... punch a guy in the face while his nose is bleeding?

welcome to the rest of my life

2008-04-17T01:34:00.000-07:00

Something that kinda hurts... Sneezing while peeing

Try to avoid if possible.

2008-04-03T14:51:00.000-07:00

I love a couple of loves in my life: God, family, friends, music, laura, and..............SHOES
Today was one of my days off I spend a small chunk of it at our shoe distributor. They were having a sample sale where all their shoes were $20. I got 4 pairs of shoes and I literally had to make myself leave before I spent another 100 dollars. Oh well it is just money..... right? Check out what i got

BTW... this top pair is something I picked up for Laura... not for me.

Addictions

2008-03-29T17:34:00.000-07:00

Soooo... This is my first post in a LONGGGGG time and the only reason why I'm blogging is because I dared Kelli to blog this and she then turned around and DOUBLE DARED ME BACK (can you believe the nerve of her).

Setting: Kelli and I are watching "Flip that House"

Kelli: "They should trim that bush"

Topher: " That's what she said"

OH YEA.... I DID

Topher's blog 2008... BIG... BETTER... BALLS TO THE WALL

2007-05-24T05:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been sooo long. Even though I am only talk to like 5 people but those are important people.

I don't think I will ever get use to serving God at centrifuge. I'm not totally convince that is a bad thing either. I am a 100% not comfortable here a camp. I'm running around doing things with new people. I knew this wouldn't be true but I think somewhat in my mind I thought I would get here and see the same staff, we would work the same way, and we would kick butt like we did last summer. Not true. There are different people here that react differently to the things I say and that know different things, that work differently.... just not the same. I am not in my comfort zone.

God, thanks for the moments of being shaken up. Thanks for the change. Let me grow through this experince. Let me be apart of growing others. You are refreshing and renewing... pretty much you're cool. Thanks

2006-12-13T22:00:00.000-08:00

Excuse me life... Can you hold on a sec?

My life is one giant transition stage. Point A to point B then skip to point Q (who wants to end up at point Q? No one that's who). It doesn't seem like I stick around in one area for too long. Whether it be school, a job, or lately even a church.

Change #1
Last Sunday my mom, father and I joined a new church. The church is a good size, a little over a 1,000 in membership. Now did I so much join this church because I deeply fell in love with it? No. I mean the service was alright. They sang Christmas carols for worship. The sermon had no faults in my mind besides it seemed to peak several times (but that's of my own personal opinion). The college group was even extremely nice (almost to a scary point). But I joined the church to escape. When a criminal escapes from prison do you think he is ultimately concerned about his final destination? Or maybe he is just happy being anywhere except his prison. This church is my stepping stone to my next church, wherever that might be.

Change #2
Today on this Wednesday December 13, 2006 I finish my fall semester. I recently found out that I won't be able to attended school this spring unless God acts fast (which he totally has the power to). I'm about 1,500 dollars or my limit of money my school will let me have outstanding so they will not let me reregister for class till I get that paid off. So for the time being God looks like he's going to keep me from doing that for awhile. I'll be completely honest, this frustrates me a lot. I'm tired of this phase in my life. I want to move forward and make a life for myself outside my parents household and with the girl of my dreams.

Maybe this is how God makes me more grateful for the constant things in my life (a family, job, friends, the Bella, and God himself). I might have to paid someone to stand next to me and remind me of that for the next semester. It would have to be a midget with a deep voice in a Brooklyn assent and he would say, "be grateful for the things that don't change you dumb a**". Did I mention that midgets swear at me in my head?

2006-07-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

Life Without Camp...

What does life without camp look like? It's probably going to be a little bit slower. There's probably going to be a lot less people I have to deal with. I will probably eat better food (any food is better food). I won't have a roommate. There will be more sleeping going on (I'm excited about that). There is a TV in life without a camp. 35 less friends I get to hangout with daily.

But now let me tell you how it's not going to be different. There will always be praising and worshipping of God. I will read my Bible daily. Prayers will always be said. The sharing of Christ will happen. Growth spiritually will continue. God's will be sought after. I will never stop trying to change the world in Christ's name.

Sooo bring it on because it's just another chapter to a very long book...

2006-07-16T07:55:00.000-07:00

Sooo it's Sunday...

And for some reason I'm thinking about camp. I wish I could turn it off. I was actually thinking about Paul and all his journeys too. He would go from town to town preaching the word of God. A lot of time staying in that town until the people "got it" or until they "rejected it". One question I was asking myself is when Paul left a town where the people just "got it" and he had built all these relationship and just shared life with those people, was Paul sad to leave the town to go to the next?

Of course he's either going to be sad or happy about it. There is really no middle ground, just extremes inside each of those feelings. I could see him being sad because he is human and as being human it's hard leaving people you love. Paul honestly cared about all the people he preached to from the first moment he got to the town. And after being there for sooo long wouldn't you think he would have these connection that would be hard to leave.

I can also see Paul being happy. Paul is a man of God. He is living for God's will to be carried out so maybe, just maybe he was happy to leave. Maybe he loved God's will so much over mankind that his feelings for people would never even came close to touching the love he had for God's will. I honestly don't know. I could see it being either way. I would love it to be the second one but Paul is still a man of this world.

Maybe if we could all get to this place where our love for God's will conquered all then we would be able to serve him much more effectively. Imagine it. It's time to quit your job where you are making 6 figures and go into full time missions. OH WELL, IT'S GOD'S WILL. It's time to break up with that beautiful girlfriend because the relationship isn't God honoring. OH WELL, IT'S GOD'S WILL. It's time to leave home because God's about to teach you a lesson the hard way. OH WELL IT'S GOD'S WILL.

Two weeks from tomorrow I leave camp. My sadness from leaving my new GREAT friends is going to be rough, but it's time. I have no question in my mind that I'm supposed to go back home and do some works there for awhile. So I feel like I'm getting it right for once because my Passion is lining up with my Purpose but my Passion is never becoming my Purpose. It's a lesson I've been learning

I know these are scattered thoughts

2006-06-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

Prepare yourself to hear me VENT!!!

Gotta get this off my chest. I fully understand leading a team of leaders isn't easy. It never works well when everyone is leading and no one is following, but COME ON. All night we get preached to about how we need to be getting sleep and take care of ourselves but the our program staff set these impossible standards. How am I supposed to take care of myself if I'm not supposed to have even a minute to myself besides when I'm showering for the next meeting.

We got told, We need to stop doing things after 11 o'clock and start going straight to bed. But this week is considered "Christmas" week for our staff (every lifeway staff does it) and 11 o'clock everyone night this week we meet for another hour doing this like sing Christmas carols or building ginger bread houses. I can't take care of myself under these conditions. To top things off we only get one full day off a week but since it's Christmas weekend this week we are going camping (tent, sleeping bag... the whole nine yards). How pissed am I? PISSED... Not happy what so ever. Don't ever tell me I need to be doing something and then take it away from me.

Today I got to the point where my eyesballs just started to hurt. I was standing there with campers and they were talking and I'm pretty sure I was smiling but nothing. I was staring right through them. It might as well never had happened cause I got no clue.

I'm not a happy CAMPER (pun intended)